Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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