so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
