she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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