we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
