Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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