That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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