just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
