I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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