we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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