just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
