im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
honey bunches of taint.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize