Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
