JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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