Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
