I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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