She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
