All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
