Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
