Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
