Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
