Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
