Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
