dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
