Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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