So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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