its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
