If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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