Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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