I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
