oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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