Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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