Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
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That's how twitter works, right?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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