I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
