I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
did i walk over a car last night?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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