We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
