I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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