I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize