Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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