moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
