They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
