My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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