I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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