i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
