i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Say something about gay babies.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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