Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
