you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
