I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
