Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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