Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no you cant smoke seaweed
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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