Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
