I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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