I skipped work to stalk him.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
