somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
