We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
