But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
