I'm going to jail i love you
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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