Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My ATM looks so different sober.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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