I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
