Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
