Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
