I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
