my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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