Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize