he shaved USA in his pubs
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
