note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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